Triple Threats TTC after loss(es) - May Thread

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chitowngrrrl replied on Thu, May 6 2010 8:13 PM | Locked

JJ - We definitely need to get together for another Chicago reunion to celebrate (like Rox says, whenever you are ready)!

Holly - I'm so sorry for the BFN. And you're definitely not crazy. I had acouple of cycles where I was 99% sure I was pregnant, and nada. The body really does play tricks on us.

I just want to send a lot of HeartHeart and Hugs this weekend to all the Threats who have struggled or are still struggling on their fertility journey. I'll be thinking of you.

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kathleen23 replied on Sat, May 8 2010 10:03 AM | Locked

Congratulations, Julie on the twins!  I hope everything continues to go well for you.

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy mother's day.  After my miscarriage in December, one of the things that helped me was how several books that I read emphasized that you are still a mother even if you lost your baby to miscarriage.  We have irises in our yard that always bloom right before mother's day.  I always give them to my mom (before she died) and my grandmother.  Last year, I took some to my mom's grave site.  This morning when I saw them, I decided to cut some to put inside for me.  I am feeling bitter sweet -- missing my mom and knowing I would have 7.5 months pregnant now -- but very hopefully that we will be parents soon.

This is our fourth cycle of trying after our miscarriage and I am hope that in another week or so I will have good news.


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hopingjen replied on Sat, May 8 2010 12:26 PM | Locked

Just popping in to offer some Hug and Heart to everyone. I know mother's day can be a hard occassion for threats. Kate is are all moms and my wish for everyone is that your THB is around the corner. Thinking of everyone this weekend.

Me - Jen (33)  & DH (36)

Furbaby Karmen

Our TTC#1 journey started November 2007 - after 17 cycles and 2 m/c we are happily in love with HeartDaphne AlinaHeart who arrived Feb 9, 2010

Cycle 7 BFP - Angel empty gestational sac discovered at 9.5 weeks - D&C at 11.5 weeks FDD Jan 24/09 Sad

Cycle 15 BFP - Angel at 7.5 weeks FDD November 13/09 Sad

Cycle 17 BFP  - Daphne Alina arrived Feb 9/10 - we are so in love Heart

TTC#2 April 2011 - BFP April/May 2011 (Surprise) - Baby Boy  DS Hudson born Jan 22/12 Heart we are in love all over againHeart

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kathleen23 replied on Sat, May 8 2010 1:18 PM | Locked

Thanks, Jen.  I was just coming back on to say that I hope I did not upset anyone by saying "happy mother's day."  I know that for those of us trying to have our first baby, this weekend is hard and brings up all sorts of emotions.  I am not sure "happy" is the right word ... perhaps hopeful.  Mother's day is hard to avoid with the constant reminders from stores, tv, radio, etc.  Last year, the first Mother's day without my mom I wished I could avoid the day (or at least the constant reminders).  I ended up having my family, including my grandmother over for brunch and tried to focus on my gratitude for my wonderful mom.

I hope that each of you find a way to honor yourselves too.  Having a miscarriage was one of the hardest experiences I have had to go through and I am so sorry that all of you are here for the same reason.

Here's a link to a video on youtube that really helped me.  It is a tribute to all mothers who do not have their babies with them:


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suzanne3721 replied on Sat, May 8 2010 1:48 PM | Locked

Thinking of you all this weekend. Heart

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lagika replied on Sat, May 8 2010 5:09 PM | Locked

more Heart and Hug to you all this weekend.  It's not fair to not have your babies in your arms and the for the world not to know that you ARE mothers.

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joylene replied on Sat, May 8 2010 11:19 PM | Locked

Also thinking of all you sweet women this weekend.  Heart  Hug  And I agree with the sentiments above.

Me: 33 yr old Kiss Dh: 35 yr old 

Baby Boy DS: Born May 24th, 2010 Heart so grateful for our beautiful son after a long journey through IF and pregnancy loss

Started TTC Fall 06.  Angel 8/08 and chemical pregnancy 12/08

 If you're 30+, TTC#1 after loss(es), come drop by the Triple Threats for some tea & sympathy (over here...)

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bobaby replied on Mon, May 10 2010 12:02 AM | Locked

Hi Ladies,

Once again I am so  glad i came here.  Kate, I had never considered that I could still be a mother even though I had a miscarriage.  Puts a different spin on it that is bittersweet but somehow empowering. Thankyou.  Amy, thanks for recognizing that it's hard when the world doesn't know what's going on. I wonder what it would have been like to be pregnant on mother's day.

I have been fine will all the mother's day stuff, not really minding, until Saturday afternoon I was at a party.  It was a lot of couples that we don't know that well- but they all know that we got married in the fall.  So everyone else's kids were running around, climbing on my lap. One of the other women was pregnant and all anyone wanted to do was talk about the pregnancy.  I even helped one mom and held her 9 week old. I was still OK, until all the questions started about us and when we were going to try. One of the gals even had the nerve to ask me how old I was!  Honestly, they were trying to be sweet (and perhaps helpful, reminding me that time was short) but it was hard to keep it together. I swear I will NEVER ask another woman without children when she's going to have a baby.

I wanted to be a little Devil and say, well, actually, I just had a miscarriage, the baby was abnormal, they thought it was molar, I had to have a D&C oh and by the way  I have a uterine septum.  Also, I haven't had a period in more than 2 months and I have to have surgery before we try again, so gee whiz it might be a while.  Aunt Flo Nobody wants to hear all that. So really you can't say anything.  I just can't believe how clueless people are.  I worry that I was once that clueless too!

Ok. Enough venting. Thanks for thinking of all us TTC'ers, Joylene and the rest above.  Wishing you all a very happy mother's day, whether your babies have already arrived, or are still waiting in the wings.Flowers


Baby Boy 2011. 

DD expected 1/15


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Purple77 replied on Mon, May 10 2010 4:59 PM | Locked

Thanks, everyone, for the Mother's Day wishes.  You guys are so sweet.  Kate, I think it's great that you cut some irises for yourself.  I'm so sorry about losing your mom.

Sammy--Yeah, situations like the one you were in make me wonder if I used to say potentially hurtful stuff.  I didn't know they had worried that you had a molar pregnancy--that must have been scary.  I hope you get your period very very soon.

Sandra--Thank you, I'm so glad I'm not the only one whose body completely psyches you out.

AFM--I'm definitely not pregnant! Indifferent  I started spotting on Thurs afternoon and I had a very strong feeling it was pre-period spotting, not implantation spotting.  I thought I was cool with it until Thurs night when something dumb upset me and I cried off and on for hours.  Indifferent  Dumb.  That'll teach me to over-analyze symptoms...I really don't do well when I start testing early, either.  That was a good reminder that I SHOULD NOT TEST.  Pretty much ever, until I'm late.

I'm doing ok now, though, and this period has been much easier and less painful than the last two, thank goodness.  Let's hope it continues to be ok.


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Purple77 replied on Mon, May 10 2010 5:02 PM | Locked

p.s.  Kate, Fingers Crossed that you'll have good news for us this week.

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Believe37 replied on Mon, May 10 2010 8:41 PM | Locked

Dropping in to say hi and to give lots of Kiss to all !!

Sammy - I admire your spunk - that must have been so hard to sit through without saying anything Hug!!

Holly - I am so sorry about Aunt Flo crashing the party but hopefully she isn't too painful this time around and you don't need that Vicoden (except if you want a recreational high Wink)!

Kate - ditto - I hope to read about your BFP next!!

JJ - dropping more Baby Dust's at you for continued good u/s results - keep us posted on the next one!

Hi to anyone I missed!

Heart Rox

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bambistar replied on Mon, May 10 2010 10:58 PM | Locked

Sammy- Lots of HugHug for you on your emotional day -that must have been so difficult. Sometimes people think they are saying things that are so helpful and they don't even realize how painful it truly is to hear.Sad

Holly and Kate -I am so sorry as well for your disappointment this cycle-lots of Baby DustBaby Dust to you for the next cycles-hang in there ladies.

Love to everyone else!


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teresamoore replied on Tue, May 11 2010 11:21 AM | Locked

Sending love to all my TTC sisters Kiss  May this time next year be a time of joy rather than a time of longing and sorrow for all of you.

Sammy, hang in there!  I actually started saying the sort of stuff you wanted to say.  People would ask when my son (pg #2, after my first m/c) was going to get a sibling.  I'd say stuff like "whenever one of my babies survives to be born, I guess.  I've lost five."  That made people stop and think.  Good luck and I hope AF shows up soon so you can get on with things. 

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kathleen23 replied on Wed, May 12 2010 6:55 PM | Locked

Sammy, I am so sorry about the party you were at this weekend -- it sounds miserable.  It is really hard to know how to respond when people start asking questions, thinking they are making polite conversation, when really they are hitting on a sore spot.  I hope your AF comes soon so you can start getting back on track.

AFM, I have been driving myself a little crazy analyzing any symptom I have as to whether or not I might be pregnant.  I am on CD 27 of what is usually a 28 or 29 day cycle, so I should know one way or another soon. Every time I get blown away by a smell (something that happened early in my last pregnancy), feel any sensation around my uterus, or feel like my breasts are extra tender, I wonder.  Yesterday, I had a headache all day and came home completely exhausted and was hoping maybe it was a good sign.  Today, I've had some mild cramping, mostly on my left side and am more tired that usual.  I know all these signs can be either PMS or pregnancy, so I am trying not let myself get too convinced one way or another.

Hope everyone is having a good week.


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kathleen23 replied on Wed, May 12 2010 7:04 PM | Locked

Holly - I am sorry about your AF showing up.  I added some of my commentary on my last few days above to let you know that you are not the only one who over-analyzes things.  If I come up with any good ways to avoid second guessing things, I'll let you know.  Intellectually, I know that there are no distinct pregnancy symptoms before you miss AF, but emotionally, it is impossible to feed our hopes and dreams.  Lost of Baby DustBaby Dust for you.


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Purple77 replied on Thu, May 13 2010 7:55 AM | Locked

Kate--Fingers CrossedFingers CrossedFingers Crossed  I hope your symptoms are the good kind of symptoms!  Keep us posted.  The smell thing happened very early in my last pregnancy, too.  It was one of my first symptoms--I think I got completely blown away by a smell around 10dpo or so.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

AFM--Wow, this period was so easy compared to my last two!  Only 2 days of really bad cramps, compared to 5-6 for the previous periods.  My body is finally giving me a break!    I'm on CD6, when I still feel like all is right with the world.  As I approach ovulation, I get grouchy, which progresses to full-on grouch mode off and on for the 2ww.  Darn hormones!  I've decided I really need to keep myself as busy as possible while we TTC this time, so I'm gonna try to tackle some house projects (painting, etc) that we've been putting off.  Of course, I get paranoid about painting while possibly pregnant, Indifferent but I'll have to work around that.

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dbprof replied on Thu, May 13 2010 9:19 AM | Locked

Oh Sammy- I’m sorry that people are so insensitive and ignorant!  You should not have to endure that!  Hug

Holly- Sorry about AF; but hopefully this will be the last one!  It sounds like at least AF is getting back to normal.  That is a good sign!

Kate-  All fingers and toes are crossed for you!  Fingers Crossed

Just wanted to stop by to tell you that I have been thinking about you ladies!  Sending you all gobs of Baby Dust and Heart


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kathleen23 replied on Sat, May 15 2010 10:01 AM | Locked

I got a BFP this morning!  Big Smile  I woke up in the middle of the night and decided I did not want to wait until morning so I tested then and then woke my DH up to tell him the good news.

Thanks everyone for all of your support!


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Purple77 replied on Sat, May 15 2010 1:22 PM | Locked

Kate, congrats on the BFP!!!  I was really hoping this cycle would be good for you.  Flowers

Too funny about your middle of the night testing.  Glad I'm not the only one who does that!

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dbprof replied on Sat, May 15 2010 7:13 PM | Locked

Congrats Kate!!!!!  Hoping and praying that the rest of you ladies are right behind her!!!!

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