I went in for an ultrasound today after some spotting (about 6 weeks today) and there was no sac. I had a beta done after that , and it was only 105. I was just wondering what to expect. What is "normal" in this situation? What sort of things shoud I call the doctor for? I just dont know how to deal with this. We want to try again, but at the same time I'm afraid I'll have to go through all this again.
Michelle & TJ - est. 8-23-08
- March 2010
http://www.tcoyf.com/members/Mibelle816/charts/4.aspx
I'm so sorry. I feel for you so immensely, we lost our son about 6mos ago.
You should call your Dr. if you start bleeding and soak one pad or more per hour, if you have severe pain, get a fever, or just feel like you need to. I think there are a few more things, maybe someone else will remember, or you can call your Dr. to ask.
I think everyone deals w/ this differently, but one of the things we all seem to have in common is good days and really, really terrible days. The pain doesn't ever seem to leave completely, but after some time the good days will outnumber the bad ones. We weren't even sure we wanted another baby, but like other things, that wore off a little as time went on. I'm pg again and still have quite alot of fear, especially as I get closer to where I m/c last time. We went thru kind of a rough patch in our marriage, not like we were fighting all the time or something, just more like we both felt lost and alone. I know that I had a hole in my heart that I tried to stuff w/ different things and I had to be very careful of that. Now, 6mos out, I've had nothing but good days for a really long time, but this week was my son's EDD and that was rough, last night was the worst because today was my B-day and I thought I would be crying because I was dealing w/ colic and being up all night, not because I wasn't. Those times are going to be hard, but we get thru them. We all somehow keep going on because we are courageous strong women and we have so much love in our hearts. I know you'll make it thru even though the next few months are going to be hard. I'm so sorry for what you're going thru. I know how yucky it is. Just keep reaching out and don't be hard on yourself. Take whatever time you need to grieve, even if it is months down the road that you need another day.
Much love and prayers for you.
DH (27) Me (23)
I am really sorry for your loss. There is no normal with miscarriages. They're all different. My two had some similiarities and also some differences. I know people who have had a baby after getting pg the first cycle after. On the other hand it is taking my body forever to go back to normal after my last m/c. Like PP said, some okay days and some terrible days. IMO the first few months are the worst, but for me it felt a little less bad after the due date passed. (My second due date is 4/3) It is natural to be scared about trying again. I am doing IVF again and I'm terrifed of losing a third baby. When you are ready you'll know, and for you it might be right away. I don't know if you ever get over it completely but I think it would be less on my mind if I had a baby.
If you are spotting already then you may have a natural passing instead of needing a d&c.
I don't know if what I said was helpful at all but I am sorry you are going through this.
TTC since 3/2007
2 m/c's from IVF/ICSI
Pregnant! Due Date 12/15
Please stick!!!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. As PP have said, there really is no "normal" with regard to either how the m/c will progress or how you're going to feel about it. Please just be gentle with yourself and let yourself feel/think/say whatever you need to in order to process this loss. With regard to the physical side of things, if you haven't had a AF-type bleed yet, then I would think the m/c is not yet complete. Some m/c happen quickly (i.e. very shortly after the pregnancy stops progressing), while others take a bit longer (several weeks). The three possibilities are: waiting for the "natural miscarriage" to happen; taking misprostol/cytotec to induce a "medical miscarriage" at home; and having a D&C (aka "surgical miscarriage").
In my case, the pregnancy stopped progressing at 6wks (a blighted ovum that never developed into a fetus, but the placenta continued to grow), the brown spotting started at 8w3d, I had a viability u/s at 10w because I still had niggling brown spotting and found out about the loss, and by 11w3d I hadn't miscarried naturally and medical miscarriage is a political quagmire in Australia, so I had a D&C to end the pregnancy.
The fact that you're already spotting (red, I'm guessing?) is hopefully a sign that your body recognises what is going on and is on its way to miscarrying naturally. I know there's no good way for this to happen, but I hope you have resolution soon in a way you're comfortable with.
So sorry to hear Did they decide to check to make sure the tubes were fine? I really am sorry and feel for you. I was 6w pregnant and all of a sudden started bleeding and when I went to the ER they didn't see anything in there. Every one is different with when they'll start bleeding, I had 245 MiU of HCG at 10:30am, when I was barely spotting and 167 MiU at 4 pm after bleeding heavier. I probably didn't need to go to the ER, but I wanted answers... that and I was having severe back cramps and pain.
You should go into the ER if you're feeling a lot of pain and/or if you're bleeding more then a pad an hour. I would definitely advise against using tampons when you do.
I wish I could say something that would comfort you, but I understand the pain you're feeling.
Krystal (26) DH (27) December 2001
Andy (4) born 02-14-06
02-2005 @ 6w - 09-2009 @ 6w2d - 05-2010 @ 8w3d
Me: PCOS, Insulin Resistant, Vitamin D Deficient
My chart
My TTC blog
My Life (Away From SIF) Blog
Just wanted to send . I'm so sorry. There is an FAQ on here that helped me understand the physical aspects of what I was dealing with , and the ladies here have helped so much with the emotional. Sometimes the bad days will hit you out of nowhere, but lots of times, the good days are like that, too.
It sounds like the m/c will probably happen naturally starting pretty soon, and while that was very difficult for me, it was also a relief, it has also taken me a while for my hormones and cycles to be more normal. Give yourself lots of time and patience, and don't push too hard. If you have any questions, your doctor should be providing answers to the best of their ability.
Just one other thing, to echo what one of the PP's said--I found out quickly that my DH and I were grieving very differently. I had to give him a lot of space and kind of "walk through it alone" on some days. I know instinctively and from all our years together that I'm not actually alone, but also know that he doesn't have the same feelings about it that I do--for him , the pregnancy and the baby weren't "real" because he had a bad feeling from the beginning, and because it was so early. For me, I know the baby was very real, very loved and very missed. I just want to caution you that if DH starts to distance himself some, that can be a normal reaction, and don't read too much into it. I felt very rejected until some of the ladies here helped me understand that it was just his way of dealing with what happened, and things have vastly improved. I wasn't prepared for that from the beginning, but it helps to have such patient and loving friends here.
Again, I'm so sorry.
Nicole Ty ~ 10 years 6/5/09
Luke 7/24/01 ~ 8lb 14 oz Jack 1/31/06 ~ 9 lb 1 oz, born at home! 1/31/10 ~ 5w2d
EDD 12/30/10 - Thank you Jesus!
See My Chart
I am very sorry for your loss . It takes time, patience and a lot of gentleness to yourself. After my second loss one day I just curled up on the bed and cried and cried and cried. DH came in a I think that was the first time he realised just how much it hurt me.
If you feel you need counselling - go for it, don't wait. There's no right or wrong, we all process our losses differently and whatever you do, don't blame yourself. You may never find the answer to why or how it happened, and that was truly awful, because it makes you wonder if it will happen again or what can you do differently next time. Just be gentle and cry when you need to! And if you just need a place to vent, do come back here!! It helps to talk with others who have been there
I don't have anything to add, just want to tell you that I am very sorry for your loss. When I saw your name I automatically recoginzed it from the PG boards.
I had a miscarriage, then a perfectly healthy baby boy, another m/c and am 5 weeks pregnant now. Its hard. Some days you may feel like you can't go on. Feel whatever you need to feel and go on TTC when YOU are ready. (((Hugs))
-Amy
Hi Michelle, I am so sorry you're going through this. I went through something very similar a couple years ago. I ended up not miscarrying naturally and having a D&C a couple weeks later. So I would add to what everyone is saying that if you don't miscarry within a time that works for you emotionally and physically, you can go back to the doctor and talk more about your options.
This can be a REALLY low time. I cried a LOT for a couple weeks. My husband didn't really "get it," because the pregnancy never seemed that real to him. I think men need to see a baby on ultrasound or hear a heartbeat or whatever for it to be real to them. So it didn't take him long to just register that we weren't going to have a baby and move on. I was the one who was left dealing with all of the emotional pain, and I felt very alone. But I knew it wasn't his fault. That's just how he works, and it's not like I wanted him to suffer! I found a forum for people dealing with miscarriage, and that helped a little bit. But in the end, we all handle these things VERY differently. What is comforting to one person when grieving may be almost offensive to another. So think about your strengths, about the things that help you get through tough times, and pull from them. Do the things that tend to help lift your spirits when you can, and be sad when you need to.
Did you know that about 80% of women who miscarry go on to have a full-term pregnancy? That is a really good number. You are also young, and you conceived once, and both of those things are really good. But still, when the pain and disappointment are this fresh, most people need some time to deal with it before moving ahead. It is very early in your pregnancy, so your body may bounce back from this quicker than your emotions! Give yourself some time, there is no pressure to try again soon. I think that most women, when they give themselves the patience and gentleness that they need to heal, find a new strength and resolve within themselves that, despite the risks and possible future pain, they want to try again. It took me TWO years to get to that point! Even if it takes you that long (that is a long time!), you would still be younger than I am when you come out on the other side ready to try again. So - give yourself space, and when you feel that strength coming up within you, seize it and go for it. If you feel sad and afraid for a long time, consider talking to someone about your fears.Two years was a long time for me to lose, and I wish I had really talked it over with someone instead of blocking it out and just deciding I couldn't handle pregnancy. The women around here remind me that women are incredibly strong and capable when we need to be. :)
Mary, 34 years old - Hubby, 33 years old. Due Nov 12! My Crazy Chart2007 - Stage IV endometriosis & endometriomas removed2008 - Miscarriage at 9 weeks, stopped trying until 12/09