I went to my midwife yesterday (14w,4d) because I felt too good, as silly as that may sound. I apparently had the flu last week after my 14-mo old had it. Aferwards, I felt better than before I was sick. I hoped it was just a coincidence as I was entering the 2nd trimester when things tend to ease up, and that maybe being sick made the transition seem more sudden. Although everything I described checked out as being "normal" my midwife trusted my instincts and had me come in to get checked out just to be safe.
My urine was fine aside from a touch of protein. When they tried to hear the heartbeats with the doppler, they couldn't find them, so I had an ultrasound. The u/s tech had my midwife come in to help her (which I knew wasn't a good sign, but hoped). They tried for a very long time to find heartbeats on either baby, but there were no flickers and just flat lines. There were no movements by either baby, but I could see the surrounding area pulse from my body on the large flat screen hanging in front of me. [Just 3 weeks ago we had our 1st ultrasound and discovered we were having twins, an they were active moving and waving their little arms.] My midwife finally said to me, "We're having trouble" & I finished, "finding their heartbeats." She nodded. They tried more, but to no avail. She finally gave me the official news. (DH had stayed home with the kids, so I told him on the phone when I left the hospital.)
The measurements showed they had stopped growing at 13w, 1&2d; I was 14w,4d at this u/s.
DH & I had just gotten our heads wrapped around & excited about the idea of having surprise twins, and now we are trying to deal with doing a 180 that we aren't getting both or even one of them. To add to it, I now have to decide which option I prefer to "deliver" them. I am being sent to a University hospital for special care, because I've had 2 c-sections, it's twins, and they've developed up to 13w. It doesn't look like I'll expel them on my own, so it sounds like the likely options I have are D&E (not D&C as that's riskier for my situation) or induction. (DH said to do whatever I prefer.) Right now they don't know what went wrong, but they said I can ask for testing to determine the cause, which I will.
Does anyone have any experience or info regarding:
- losing both twins?
- D&E (not D&C) or induction or other - especially with twins &/or beginning of 2nd trimester?
Me: 31, DH: 33; DS: 4; DD: 1; I'm a BF, B/W, CD, signing, crunchy, AP mama.
Ovu.: 10-2-06 (cd16); BFP: 10-15-06 (13dpo;cd29); EDD: 6-25-07 TCOYF & Doc; M/C: 11-22-06 (51dpo). Ovu.: 1-23-07 (cd15); BFP: 2-3-07 (11dpo;cd26); EDD: 10-16-07; BORN 10-24-07: 1 wk overdue, induce, push 3hrs, & c-section! 8-lb, 11-oz; 21in; Breastfed 28 months. Ovu.: 12-26-09 (cd17); BFP: 1-2-10 (7dpo;cd24); Doc confirm: 1-4-10 (9dpo;cd26); EDD: 9-18-10 TCOYF & Doc; BORN 9-24-10: 1wk overdue, attempt VBAC, failed labor, & c-section; 9-lb, 7-oz; 21.25in; BF'ing; Ovu: 9/23/11-ish; Surprise! Xtra surprise (while 11mo pp, on mini-pill, & BF'ing) - Natural Twins! BFP 10/31/11; EDD 6/15/11; 12/20/11 at 14.5w discovered we lost both at 13w,1&2d; D&E 12/23/11 (15w)- - - MY CHART
I don't have any experience with either, but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your losses. I remember reading your story in the Pregnancy Announcements.
I hope you have friends and family close to help you get through this tough time.
Danica (29), DH (31), Married Oct. '08
Adelyn Mae born July 8, 2011
I can't answer either of your questions, but I couldn't read your post without saying how sorry I am for your losses. My heart hurts for you.
Thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot. I'm thankful we have good friends and family in the area. We'll probably start telling them today as our little ones will need to stay with my parents during my hospital time. It's just not fair, but it's comforting to know that it's simply "time & unforseen occurance" rather than some cruel joke being played on us. Of course, my mind will continue to wonder "what if" until we hopefully find a cause, be it the flu virus, twin-to-twin transfer, or something else. It's frustrating not having answers. We lost our 1st pregnancy at 7w, but that was easier to explain off as being because it's common for the 1st to m/c. This time is harder as I got to the 2nd trimester, if only barely, it's my 4th pregnancy directly following 2 very healthy successful ones, we lost both twins not "just" one of them, & the what-if's.
I want to encourage everyone to trust your instincts and never be afraid to call or get checked, even if it sounds silly or the staff even blows it off. I literally went in because I felt too good. Who ever goes to the doctor for feeling good? I wish I was just paranoid, but am so glad I went in and didn't wait until my appt next week. (Of course, now I wish I had gone in while I was sick; what if...)
I am so very very sorry
I don't have any advice, but wanted to say how sorry I am.
Thank you ladies. I truly appreciate your caring thoughts.
The hospital called and I'm now scheduled for D&E on Friday. They explained that I'll be given anesthesia & go home that day with antibiotics & pain meds; I'll need to be able to rest at home for a few days & have end-of-period-like bleeding & cramping.
They prefer D&E over induction as induction can take a really long time & can end up in D&E anyway. Frankly I think I'm glad that's their preference as I just want to be done with it now & the thought of going through labor for this result was really bothering me due to my past experiences with labor. Also, I won't have to be away from DS & DD as long. I made a list of things I want to remember to request like tests for cause, gender, etc. that I'd like to know.
I am so so sorry for your losses. Take care over the holidays, and be gentle with yourself.
I am so sorry to hear about this. All the best for your recovery, and I hope you get some answers through the testing.
I'm so very sorry for your loss of your babies, my heart breaks for you. I will be thinking of you on Friday. I just had a D&C last Tuesday at 10 weeks, for a pregnancy which stopped developing at 6 weeks. I found the anesthesia to be a welcome relief. Please don't try to push yourself after the procedure. I tried to get up to go home after waking up (I thought I felt fine), but I nearly fainted on the way to the car and had to be re-admitted for a brief time. I also had expected to be able to go back to work the next day but the drugs they give you really do take 24 hours to get out of your system, so expect to feel quite groggy on Saturday. Also an unexpected side effect for me was painful gas and bloating about 3 days afterwards (it's over now thankfully!).
Again I'm so sorry.
Me (31) DH (42) TTC #1 Since 10/2011 12/13/2011 My Chart
I am so sorry for your loss. It is truly heartbreaking. I know that you have been scheduled for a D&E, but wanted to share my experience with an induction. I lost a baby boy at 18 weeks, but he had stopped growing at 14 weeks. I was told an induction was the safer way to go at that point. I had already had some bleeding and cramping on my own, but they gave me cervadil (I think that is what it was called) to start the dilation process. I started cramping and asked for an epidural. I didn't want to feel a thing. I delivered him about 5 hours later. They didn't let me see him but I was able to get his hand and foot prints which I will always cherish. Leaving the hospital as absolutely heartbreaking. I was at the same hospital where I delivered my daughter and all my memories had been of leaving with her. Now, I was just leaving with hand and footprints. I was devastated.
Looking back, I think the D&E would have been the better choice because I could have been knocked out and woken up and it would have been over. On the other hand, I have the most precious reminder of my little boy. It is a hard call, and one I wouldn't wish on anyone to have to make. My heart goes out to you.
I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about this. My heart truly goes out to you and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
I too don't have an answer for your question although it seems it's now settled but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your losses.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much for your experiences and sympathetic words. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. We contacted family and some friends last night. We called our parents and sent everyone else an email as we couldn't deal with retelling it anymore right now but wanted them to know what's going on before tomorrow's procedure. Of course there had to be some drama from a couple people who were offended that we didn't prioritize our list of people we contacted, even though the complainers were in fact informed (one decided it was more important to call someone else & complain than to call us at all and offer sympathy). I guess that's more important than our going through and dealing with this difficult time. Wveryone else has been really supportive though.
Dolphinparadise - I am so sorry that you are going through this pain. My heart goes out to you and you will be in my prayers. I hope you are able to find some solace in your husband, friends and family. And, I'm sorry that some people can be so unkind and act so selfishly. It always amazes me. But I hope you have people that amaze you in great ways, too, with their love, support and understanding. Sending you lots of love
Socal_Native - I'm so sorry for your recent loss. Sending healing & loving thoughts your way
Garysmom - Thank you for sharing that heart-breaking & poignant story. I am so sorry for your devastating loss. I can't imagine what losing a baby at 18 weeks must have been like. I wish I could take away that pain. Sending you loving thoughts
Me 39 DH 43
July 2010 m/c @ 10 wks
IVF#1 September 2011 - 17 mature eggs, 12 fertilized... all abnormal.
IVF #2 October 2011 - 9 eggs, 4 fertilized, No PGD - 1 mature - ET cancelled (1 embryo frozen)
IVF#3 January 2012 - BFP!!!
My Blog: Are You Kidding Me?
I have no experience in your situation as my loss was that of a singleton at 8w4d back in 2006, but I just wanted to offer you my condolences. I can't imagine what a whirlwind of emotions you have been dealing with. I had a D&E and I was just as confident in my decision then, as I am now. I was in severe physical pain and emotional pain. I had full-blown uterine contractions, nonstop, for 2 days before I was able to have my surgery. It was pure hell. Even though it wasn't a "natural" procedure, it was completely natural to me. I wanted it over and done with and that's what happened.
dolphinparadise: Thank you so much for your experiences and sympathetic words. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. We contacted family and some friends last night. We called our parents and sent everyone else an email as we couldn't deal with retelling it anymore right now but wanted them to know what's going on before tomorrow's procedure. Of course there had to be some drama from a couple people who were offended that we didn't prioritize our list of people we contacted, even though the complainers were in fact informed (one decided it was more important to call someone else & complain than to call us at all and offer sympathy). I guess that's more important than our going through and dealing with this difficult time. Wveryone else has been really supportive though.
Ugh, that is just ridiculous and horrible. It's good that you have a lot of support from people close by you, though. Make use of it, people want to help....sometimes they just don't know exactly what to say/how to say it. I hope everything went as well as possible today, and that you can look forward to the new year and a renewal of all things good and hopeful in your life.
All the best.
I am so, so sorry to hear about your losses hon. A million to you. And I am sorry that some people have been so insensitive in your time of sorrow. As for your original question, I had a D&E for my loss and I would do it again. It seems like based on what you want, this will be best for you too.
I will be thinking about you tomorrow.
Me- 34DH- 36 August 2009
Olivia Kathryn born on 11/26/10
#2 EDD 9/29/12 (PSA: You CAN get pregnant while BFing and taking the mini-pill)
I've been thinking about you all day. I'm so sorry for your loss
DH and I - both 35TTC #1 Three miscarriages (March 2000 July 2005 December 2011) BFP 10/27/2011! Due July 6, 2012 Saw heartbeat on December 1, 2011 - strong 167 bpm! Went for routine visit on 12/15/2011, no heartbeat, no fetal growth. So devastated. D&C 12/19
My Charts (I have a couple years worth of charts on paper)