I am not sure if this is the appropriate forum to be posting in but here goes....
I was 11 weeks pregnant today and when I got up this morning, I went to the toilet and noticed a bit of brown discharge when I wiped (sorry if TMI). I didn't think too much of it as it was minimal and I was feeling perfectly fine. About half an hour later, I looked again and noticed a very tiny amount of red blood in my undies. I called the hospital straight away and they said to come up. Once there I had an ultrasound and this is the first ultrasound I've had this pregnancy (I had my 12 week one booked for the 4th of November) so I was very nervous as I was still yet to receive 'official' confirmation that I was actually pregnant (apart from the squillions of HPTs i'd done). I knew immediately that things didn't look good as my doctor said, "I can see a sac" and he then said nothing for about 5 minutes and made sure I wasn't able to see the screen. I assumed that if all was good, he would've turned the screen straight around to show me a healthy little bubba.
After what seemed like an eternity, he showed me the screen and said, "This is what I'm seeing - a sac which is measuring at 6 weeks." I said, "So there's nothing there?" and he replied with, "I'm not sure." He then showed us what looked like a line of the screen inside the sac, from a few different angles. Then he tried to find a heartbeat by putting 'colour' on the screen but never said whether he could or couldn't see a heartbeat which makes me assume that there wasn't one there.
I had some blood taken to check my HCG levels and I will go back for more on Thursday before seeing the doctor again on Friday. He said it may pass naturally or they will do a curette if it doesn't.
Then a midwife came in to talk to us and she was so much more optimistic. She said, "you haven't lost the baby yet" and "maybe you're not as far along as you thought." But I'm pretty sure of my dates and I have had positive pregnancy tests for much longer than 6 weeks so I'm not sure that this is a possible scenario....is it???
I have had no pain (apart from some very mild period like cramps tonight) but I have had brown blood each time I have wiped after going to the toilet tonight.
I am absolutely devastated and we were just starting to get excited about almost being able to share our news and I was really thinking 'baby, baby, baby'. How things can change so quickly.
I guess I'm looking for any advice about what I should expect to happen now...or any stories that might suggest that this won't end in a miscarriage...or even just some positive thoughts! Actually, I don't even know what I'm looking for. I just feel lost :(
So my doctor called this afternoon and said he had the first lot of results from my HCG test. He said it was over 18,000 (I can't remember the exact number) but said that this was quite high and that he wasn't entirely sure what was going on. I have never had my HCG tested before so I do not know what I should expect. I am just so confused as none of this makes any sense -
* thought i was 11 weeks, sac measured 6 weeks,
* HCG gives a high result but if the baby died 5 weeks ago shouldn't it be lower than this?
* if baby didn't die until now, why is it so much smaller than what it should be?
* I cannot possibly be only 6 weeks pregnant as I've had positive HPT for much longer than this.
I know i am sending myself insane with the 'what ifs' but I cannot help myself. I think the wait is the hardest part. I've been bleeding all day so I convinced myself I was miscarrying and now my doctor has put so much doubt into my mind about EVERYTHING! does anyone have any words of wisdom for me?
Thank you so much to those who have offered kind words and reassurance. Unfortunately we lost our baby. I knew it was inevitable yesterday when I started bleeding much heavier and cramping. I couldn't stop crying, knowing that it was happening. My doctor confirmed my HCG levels had fallen to 13,000 and he did another ultrasound and saw that the sac was still there. It was thinning, like it was trying to work it's way out but still there. He sent me home with Cytotec to take which he said would either help to pass the baby naturally or soften the cervix enough to make a D&C much more gentle.
I took the Cytotec last night and woke up at about midnight with terrible pain. I nearly passed out twice while I was sitting on the toilet passing huge clots (sorry if TMI). It lasted about 3 hours until I went to the toilet again and I felt something big just slide out of me. I couldn't see anything for all of the blood but immediately the cramps seemed to stop and I was able to get a few hours sleep.
I went back to the hospital again this morning, hoping it was over. Another ultrasound confirmed that for the most part, it was. There were still some clots showing but what was there yesterday has now gone and there's no need for a D&C.
It is amazing that I immediately felt so much better within half an hour, considering the agony I was in yesterday. Your body sure can do some strange but natural things. My doctor also said there is no need to wait before TTC again and that we shouldn't have any issues with falling pregnant again naturally. I hoping and praying that this is the case.
bellebelle, Having been there myself, I wish I knew what words of wisdom to share with you. Unfortunately, I don't. I do want to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you in this difficult and confusing time. I'm also sending you all the love and hugs I've got. Michelle
So many hugs for you. While I don't have any words of wisdom for you, I do want you to know that I have been in your shoes twice and it's not easy. Hang in there, sweetie and don't give up hope. I have had losses and they hurt. I have also had scares and those hurt too. Keep us posted and try to stay calm while your body and your doctor figure out what's going on.
thank you both for your kind words. i am so lucky to have found such a supportive community!
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this . The uncertainty and anxiety you probably feel are what I found so difficult in my experience.
Regarding your update, my levels when I induced miscarriage at 10 weeks (baby stopped growing at 7 weeks - I had mild bleeding at 7 weeks and went for an u/s for three consecutive weeks, so I knew there was no hope) were 58,000, so it can still be quite high even weeks after the baby stops growing. It has taken about 30 days for my HcG to drop to less than 5.
Claire (Me) - 38DH - 40DD - 3DCat - Molly
Married the love of my life July 7, 2007 (he wanted a date we could never forget ;-)
TTC #2 May 2011
September 12, 2011 at 10 wks, baby stopped growing at 7 wks 2 days http://tcoyf.com/members/kitcat75/pccharts/13.aspx
January 18, 2012 at 12 weeks 2 days, baby stopped growing at 6 wks 5 days http://tcoyf.com/members/kitcat75/pccharts/15.aspx
March 20, 2013 - 7 weeks 1 day
surprise BFP - HCG 17 dpo 1827 grow baby grow @ 12 weeks everything looking good. EDD June 3, 2014.
Is it possible that your first positive pregnancy tests were for a chemical pregnancy and then you conceived the next cycle? Your numbers are perfect for the sixth week of pregnancy. If I had to bet, that's what I would think happened. Just a guess.
Also, it's quite possible that he did not see a heartbeat even if the baby is viable. At six weeks it's entirely possible. I personally think you have hope and I would be really hesitant about getting a d&c until you're 100% sure!
I like what Amelia said.
My personal theory in life is prepare for the worst hope for the best. Don't give up yet!
I'm so sorry for your loss, though you got good news from the doc that you're OK to try again right away. My heart goes out to you, and I hope this difficult time passes quickly.