I know this is a bit out there, but it just occurred to me the other day. I have no reason to doubt my clinic and I trust them completely, but we've all read the scary stories of embryos mix-ups in the lab, so - if you did IVF, did you ever think or do a DNA test on baby to see if he/she was really yours?
Was discussing this with DH last night, and it hadn't occurred to him at all, and I don't honestly know that I'd want to do it anyway - these babies are mine regardless of anything, though I guess for medical reasons it might be good to know (inherited conditions, etc.). But if you've thought about it or done it, I'd love your input. Thanks.
Did I do it? no
Would I do it? no
Have I thought about it? of course!
I remember when they did the transfer I had to look at a screen and they asked me for my full name and ssn and date of birth - after I answered they showed me the label that had the same info - then I was able to watch as they removed the Embryo and sucked it into the catheter and then handed it to the Doctor and he inserted it...... bit still in the back of my mind I was like "how do I know if it was DH's sperm? How do I know they didnt mix it up in the lab??"
At the end of the day though I dont care if he is mine biologically or not he is my child and I carried him for 9 months and held him the moment he was born - so he IS mine
I will say though I know he is ours.... he looks EXACTLY like my DH!!!!
Wow, I never even heard or thought of this but now that the seed is planted, I suppose the same thing could happen during IUI as well (with DH's sperm). It's something I might consider down the line (need to get pg first), as long as it's not astronomically expensive or harmful in any way. Though I suppose as someone who's open to adoption but also desperately wants to carry a baby myself - it really truly doesn't matter. But I know what you mean, it'd be nice to know for sure. That's a privilege the fertiles get that you don't often think of.
Thanks for your input, ladies. Nice to know I am not the only one who thought of it, though I am definitely with you, Piper - it doesn't really matter. I suppose it'll be interesting to see who they look like!
It was the first thing my husband thought of when he realized a pill wasn't going to fix me and we would need to undergo IUI and subsequently IVF. He was literally freaked out and kept himself up for a night or two before he settled down and this was no longer his big worry. He discussed his biggest worry with the RE who explained all the medical policy and procedures they had in place to ensure this did not happen. So, now he doesn't even bat an eye when we go through the ART process.
However, I've left the window open if DH, when we do get our take home baby to do any type of DNA testing to make him feel some sense of relief. For me personally, I don't feel like I need it but it's my obligation to also hear my husbands concerns and do what I can to help him. So, if one of us felt the need to confirm that this child is biologically ours then we will do the DNA testing for the others peace of mind. But it's not like regardless of the results either one of us would return the baby so I guess if one of those weird crazy out of the extraordinary circumstances happened where malicious or not DNA was mixed up we'd need to seek therapy and figure a way to move forward.
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer but you're not alone in having 'wondered' about this before or consider testing as an option. I think someone on these boards tried make my husband seem like he was overly concerned or needed therapy for this big worry of his way back when we first saw an RE. While I appreciated whomever's opinion that was (I don't even recall), I thought her opinion was way judgemental of my husband for basically suggesting that we shouldn't be seeking ART if he was that bent up over it.
I suppose you'll decide what you'll do or not do once the baby comes. I can't believe you're almost there!
Our clinic has very strict rules about your "deposits." They have to be dropped off at specific time and they won't even let people wait in the andrology area. They don't test on various samples at the same time, either. We have to visually recognize the name on the sample before the IUI (we aren't at IVF yet). Basically, the procedures they have in place make us pretty confident that our swimmers are ours.
Besides, I am white and DH is black/Latino, so I think it would be pretty easy to see if it wasn't his swimmer that got the deed done. (Knock wood that we EVER get to that place!)
If there were any doubt, I could see wanting to know, if nothing else to have an accurate medical history for my child. I don't think it's an odd thing to wonder about.
No DNA test. No need, really. She has my face & eye color and her dad's lanky body type.
Johanna DH 10-23-04
Next to worrying about baby's health and safe arrival, this was my biggest concern. I remember stressing after the FET because I couldn't remember if they verified our info against the embryo info at transfer. (DH assured me they did, so I think I was just loopy from the Valium.) I would have had a DNA test if I really thought there was a mixup. However, both kids look exactly like DH and me. So there is no doubt that they are 100% genetically ours.
I would think (hope) statistically this is as rare as babies being swopped at birth in a hospital.....and every parent has potential for that , even non ART pg.
It hadn't occurred to me really tbh as our clinic always seem so stringent with that side of things, I guess i'll cross that bridge when I get to it though as i've no take home baby just yet :)
DS looks so much like us, there is no question. We've never discussed it.
In the very solemn and stressful world of IF treatments, this was one area where we found humor. During pregnancy #1 (IUI) and #3 (IVF), my DH would periodically joke about the chances of the baby not being his. (As mentioned, the labs are super-secure, and the odds of that happening HAVE to be similar to being struck by lightning or winning the lottery. It happens, but...)
Those two children look EXACTLY like him. I joke that this is God's answer to him for all the teasing!
Its crossed both DH and my minds before. How can it not? We joke about it sometimes, but like the PPs said clinics have very strict protocols so the right samples end up where they are supposed to be so that neither sperm nor eggs are mixed up. There's a very, very, very slim chance there could be a mix up of course, but we have never seriously considered double checking DS's genetics. That said DS is a mixture of both DH and I so we've never had any suspicions of a mix up. And as the PPs said even if he wasn't genetically ours he IS ours!
I can't tell you how relieving it is to hear I'm not the only one who has thought about this! We also try to find humor in the situation. To our utter shock, my son popped out as an unmistakable and completely adorable redhead (neither of us have red hair). DS looks just like my husband so the sperm is definitely his, but I do often joke that there is a beautiful redheaded woman out there missing an egg!
In all seriousness though, I wouldn't do DNA testing. Ignorance is bliss. I love my son, I love my life, why mess with that?
Funny, DH and I used to joke about this too. They always did make us triple check the name at various points throughout the process so I wasn't too concerned. I would never get a DNA test no matter what, but my daughter is truly my husband's mini me. She looks nothing like me though
Thanks for the input, ladies, I am happy to see I am not the only crazy one having these thoughts. Congratulations to everyone on your little blessings. :)
I'm at the beginning of my ART journey, so I have not yet had the opportunity. Even if I became concerned about it, I think I would decline to test. I heard a radio documentary about a couple in NY who had another couple's embryo transferred by error. The genetic parents' legal rights trumped those of the birth mother, rendering the birth mother an accidental gestational surrogate. It was the clinic who discovered the error, but, in that circumstance, perhaps ignorance really would have been bliss. I think the best approach for me is to ensure my clinic employs best practices and then trust (what will hopefully be) the result.
If you're interested, here is the podcast: http://www.podcastdirectory.com/podshows/9710045
Warning: this story is so heartbreaking that I was crying for some time after the program ended and teared up regularly in the following days whenever I thought of it. It is a tough listen!