Our journey continues and it's been somewhat frustrating for me. I keep the quote running through my head, "it will be wonderful if it doesn't" it helps, but each month that starts over is getting harder to deal with.

Three weeks ago, we attended the service for the wee one we lost, it was small, maybe 8 or 9 other couples and families in attendance, all in varying stages of grief. The hardest part of it was seeing the tiny white casket that all the wee ones were in together. The site in which they were being put to rest was lovely, under three large old leafy trees on a hillside. As I looked up into the trees, it almost looked like their branches were reaching out to embrace them, that made me feel lots better knowing that even though they are heaven bound and angels already, nature was embracing and protecting them as well.

My husband and daughter helped me through that day, tough as it may be. My husband was my strength, my daughter my light. Someone asked me if this brings closure, only in some ways I think. In the physical loss and saying good bye, yes. With the love in my heart, no, not at all. Both the babies we have lost were in early development, I never got to hear heartbeats, see them or feel them squirm about in my belly. But from the day I knew I was pregnant, a great love grew in that short time. So no, that closure will never be I think. I still cry some days for them both, but I know they are in a better place right now keeping an eye on us.

We have continued hope that we will carry another to term and have additions to our family. Time will tell, but in the meantime we love, we try and we hope. For that will help move us on our journey and hope soon that we will find another someone to enter our hearts.