...and I'm pregnant!
That's the short version!
And now the long version so I have it recorded for posterity...
I never did break down and test early, so I showed up at the RE's office today completely in the dark about the results. i went to work for a couple of hours and then left again for my annual exam with my OBGYN. (I scheduled the appointment 14 months ago, so it was complete coincidence that it coincided with my beta). I chatted with my favorite nurse Stacy, who saw me through my entire miscarriage and is my biggest cheerleader. I told her all about the IVF journey and how I'd find out today at 4 p.m. what the results were. She said I HAD to call her because she'd be chewing her fingernails all day wondering. My doc was equally excited and hopeful for me.
So I managed to make it through the rest of the day at school. At 4 p.m. I dropped my students off and had to stop in the office. I got back to my room at 4:10 and saw that I'd already missed the call. I listened to the message and tried to figure out if it sounded positive or not. I called back and fortunately the doc was available. She asked how I was, and I responded I wasn't sure yet. I asked how SHE was, and honestly I don't remember the rest of the conversation. I think she said something about being frustrated because she'd been waiting ALL DAY to call me and give me the news: I'm pregnant.
I immediately started crying. Then I asked her what the number was, and she said 158. Then I started crying harder because with my miscarriage, the numbers never got above 67. She said it's a great starting point, and I already am feeling cautiously optimistic because that number is so much better than where I was before. She reminded me to keep taking my meds, said to come back Tuesday to check my numbers again, and then we said goodbye.
Only one person IRL knew about my beta today, and she works with me. So I called her crying and said, "Can you come to my room?" It was a little mean, I know, because I was sort of implying it was bad news... When she arrived I said through tears, "We can't get our tattoos," which had been the plan if I got a BFN. She started SCREAMING and literally jumping up and down in my classroom. It was awesome. She's been such a good friend and so supportive ever since my miscarriage in August. It was so exciting to finally give her good news.
After she left, I called Stacy back, who had the same reaction. She started screaming into the phone and sounded so genuinely happy. It really touched my heart actually. I asked her to tell my doctor and she said, "Are you kidding me? The whole office is going to know by 5:00!"
So I finally drove home - and boy did that drive feel loooooong. As I was getting out of my car, DH happened to walk into the garage to throw something in the trash can. And I just blurted out, "I'm pregnant." It was so funny because the first time - when it was more of a surprise - I had this whole involved, creative plan to tell DH. This time I just blurted it out in the garage with my school bag on my shoulder and him with a bag of trash in his hand! It didn't take away from how amazing the moment was though. Then I came inside and told him every detail from start to finish. Then I went and took an HPT just so I could see the line, lol. And now I'm just sitting here writing because I absolutely feel like I'm dreaming and this reminds me that it's all real.
The due date of my miscarriage is in exactly ten days. I am so grateful to have this pregnancy and this new hope to help get me through that day.
So in closing, I am absolutely on Cloud 9. There's obviously a part of me that's terrified - a lovely side effect of infertility and a previous miscarriage - but I feel so hopeful and positive and excited! I just can't believe it's real!!! 
Posted
04-16-2010 1:34 PM
by
laurenAZ