"Just forget about it and it will happen"

Just forget about it and it will happen 3 - the yellow pee saga

Suebaby14 — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 01:36:00 GMT

So as it turns out (I find this hilarious)...I now pee flourescent yellow!!!! Oh what we put ourselves through to achieve the ultimate dream!

Since I have been charting I have realized that I have a Luteal Phase of 9 days...not good apparently. So I am on the trek to finding out how to fix this so-called defect, I have an appt. with my Specialist Aug 20, but of course that is not soon enough for action to start for me. So as I researched more and more on this condition, I also noted what I could now do to help fix the "problem". Amongst ingesting copious amounts of walnuts, kelp and sweet potatoes, I am also now ingesting a Vitamin B complex and 100mg of Vitamin B. So I take the first Vitamin B complex and Vitamin B and later that day I go to the washrom and am startled at how my pee practically glowed!!!! Bionic urine!!!! I started to panic! How much water did I drink today? Oh goodness - I better not be starting no bladder infection or UTI!!! Those suck!!!! Then I go on a mad fury of research on-line...google searching "flourescent yellow pee" and finally I learn that all the vitamins are causing this!

I know I may over-react at times, but I often wonder is what I am injesting (be it walnuts, vitamins or the ever-so-popular Clomid) really worth it? I know walnuts do not come with many side-effects, and the Vitamin B's side effects are not serious, and Clomid - well, we all react differently to it, but I did not enjoy my 3 months on it - but is it all worth it?

I know that once we receive that ever-destined positive sign it will all be worth it...but why is it that I can't help but feel guilty that I am putting my body through all of it?

"Just forget about it and it will happen 2"

Suebaby14 — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:37:00 GMT

So get this....

My one and only friend who was in the same boat as myself - unexplained infertility - has just told me that she is now pregnant. GREAT! That leaves me all by myself in trying to deal with this situation that has yet again been thrown at my face. She called to tell me on the phone and to be honest, all I could do was start crying. She was so happy and so excited to tell me the news....and all I could get out of me was a whimper and a quiet congratulations. I am happy for her...really I am, but I just could not take the news...it was as if all the light around me faded at that exact moment. I am all by myself in this now....all alone....no one I can talk to, no one who understands what I am going through, no one to sympathize.

Even more frustrating is the fact that she threw at me the one and only comment that just eats at me...."You just have to forget about it Sue and it will happen...look at us!". Ok - so you want me to follow your example. I wish it was that easy. The Catch 22 of it all is that she is the one who is pregnant and I am still the one who is not.

So I put it out there to all of you in cyber-space: How do you cope when you are the one last person, amongst all your friends and family, who is still trying?

"Just forget about it and it will happen!"

Suebaby14 — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 16:48:00 GMT

Ugh...If I hear one more person give me that kind of advice about trying to get pregnant I will scream!!!! If it were only that easy! I WISH I could just forget about it - My life would be so much easier and happier!!!!

I am new to this blogging technology, and new to forums and the like, but reading and hearing all the struggles, pain and encouragement from everyone has got me realizing that maybe this technology is not so bad. As good as it will be to get things off my chest, it will be even better to not be the recipient of some more 'wonderful' advice!!!!

We have been TTC for about 3 years now: 1 year on our own and two years with assistance. We have had 3 IUIs through our fertility specialist...all failed. Needless to say, my morale and chipper personalilty were hidden somewhere because it was just easier to be downing it. Being that I am of the whole body and mind philosophy, I started under-going Acupuncture treatments once a week with herbal medicines (TCM) for our infertility. Although we have still not been lucky, Acupuncture made me feel GREAT!!! I felt more grounded, calm, relaxed and happy - although my real chipper self was still hiding. Luckily my Acupuncturist is a smart woman and a great person - she always asked about my symptoms from week to week, and thanks to her, we found out we had Endo. (stage 2-3) and cysts on my ovaries. I brought this up with our Specialist and surgery was scheudled to remove it all. Now we are back to square one...trying again for another 6 months.

This time though I was tired of feeling sad, upset, helpless and most importantly out-of-control. So I am now taking my BBT and charting! The TCOYF book has already taught me more about my body than I ever have in my 32 years alive! With the charting, I have come to realize that my luteal phase is 9 days - WELL NO WONDER IT HASN'T BEEN WORKING FOR US! We were, from the get-go, at a disadvantage! But I figured it out on my own and I am feeling more motivated to have this baby than I have in the past 3 years...I found a problem which will hopefully be the one that will be fixed and will provide us with our bundle ofl ove!

So now I begin the process again, and I am not sure how I feel about it, but to be honest with you, I have faith...and control this time around!