I'm sad and it's stupid and i shouldn't be sad, which just makes me feel worse and it's like a death spiral of sadness today.

DH is on another of his two-week business trips to Hawaii.  I went to Honolulu over the weekend to be with him and (duh) enjoy Hawaii.  We had an awesome awesome and very relaxing time.  Then I took the redeye home on Sunday night and went straight to work on Monday.  Now it's Tuesday and I'm sad all over the place.

I'm sad mostly because I'm just plain old EXHAUSTED.  Every time I do this - a redeye or super early morning flight followed by going straight to work - I say that I'm not going to, that i can't do it anymore.  And then we go to book the next whirlwind weekend trip and i volunteer to do it again.

Which makes me sad, because I'm stupid and should no better.  And it's my own darn fault for doing this.

I'm sad because although I've known that I need to refocus on getting in shape and losing weight for TTC, I finally measured myself today.  I have put 3 inches on my hips and 4 inches on my waist since January.  I am SO ANGRY with myself, and so embarrassed.  I have put in a lot of work to lose weight and get healthy, and I let myself do this.  And now, we're ready to TTC starting next month, and I'm completely out of shape!  :o(

I'm sad because I miss DH.  We had a great weekend, but I hate these 2 week trips when i do day-to-day life without him. 

I'm sad because (get this) I haven't heard about the job I applied for.  I mean, how lame is that?!?  It's not like I didn't get the job... it's just that I don't know whether I got the job.  And that's enough to make me sad.  Which makes me mad at myself, again, some more.

I'm just sad and lonely and stressed out and pissed off and miserable.

Not my best day, here.  :(  Need a little more Joy in this Journey.