So there's this wild party going on down our street.  I guess it's not even midnight yet, so I shouldn't be complaining, but...just the fact that I'm slightly annoyed about it makes me feel old.  So.  Incredibly.  Old.  

I also recently rediscovered my old livejournal from college.  So I've been reading through some of that and missing my younger days a little bit.  I love love LOVE my new life as a mom, and I would not trade it for anything--but sometimes I miss the crazy amount of free time I once had and the ability to just do whatever with it.  I also miss having real friends I got to spend real time with.

And then I remember, oh my gosh, this is the life I've always wanted.  I have always wanted to be a SAHM, to be married, to have a family.  This has been my dream...and I'm living it now.  I am so thankful for my husband and my daughter.  My life is great.

At times I almost forget what we went through to get to this point.  Maybe I don't mean "forget," exactly.  Everything is crystal clear--I can remember exactly how each miscarriage felt in detail--but when the events play over in my head, it almost feels like it happened to someone else and not me.  It's hard for me to wrap my head about the fact that each time, we just got through it.  Somehow.  We had to.  And now that we actually have our daughter, it's like there's this weird disconnected feeling about those previous pregnancies.  Those three other babies.